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I need my decision making privileges taken away.
More tattoo artists really just need to say "No, I`m not doing that."
You are wasting your time reading this status.
I wanna say something. I´m gonna put it out there. If u like it, u can take it, if you don´t, send it back. "I want to be on you"
My co workers put cookies on my desk, like they`re leaving a sacrifice for an angry god.
There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.
Did Humpty Dumpty sue them motherf*ckers for making that wall so high?
When I see a tire swing swaying gently in the breeze, I like to believe its daydreaming about life on the open road.
Do people with cats not know about dogs?
The Patriots defensive coverage was almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.
"Does this dress make me look fat?"-- Now, what I SHOULD have said was, "No, dear! You are little black dress approved!" but what came out was, "When did your bum move to the front?"
Life hack: You can park wherever you want if you put your hazard lights on and take your tire off.
People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away.
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
Black Friday at my house consist of pants 100% off