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Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn`t know it was even possible to be this jealous.
Has anyone EVER checked to see how the room or wall behind them looks before taking and posting 50 selfies?!
Where does Peter Pan have his lunch? At Wendy`s.
If you tell me you`re giving something 110% then I’m assuming the extra 10% is your stupidity.
We played a lot of "Keep The Balloon In The Air" as kids, a game known to most other people as being poor.
Early reports indicate I`m gonna be drunk all weekend.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
I have the means to do anything that I want on my day off from work which means that I dont want to do anything on my day off from work.
My weight loss goal is to not care about the crumbs at the bottom of a Pringles can.
I fold down my laptop screen very slowly at night so I don`t squish you guys.
What if Spider Man has to stop a crime in the countryside
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn`t met me yet