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Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
People who don`t know what they want should not use the drive thru!
People who try to test my patience don`t realize it`s an exam I don`t plan on passing
I drive everywhere but for some reason my shoes still wear out, it’s like there’s just no reward for laziness.
I`ll never become mature enough to not laugh out loud when the person in the stall next to me farts so loud it sounds like a volcano just erupted.
There`s never been a single day in my life when I thought to myself " thank god the cops are here"
Reasons why I never let my girlfriend touch my phone. 1. I don`t have a girlfriend.
I don`t get enough credit for not going on killing sprees.
Most meteorologists are men. That`s why when they say we`re going to get 6-8" of snow, we only get 2 or 3.
Daylight Savings makes us lose an hour... It’s kind of like Facebook.
Plot twist: WebMD says you`re just thirsty
If you don`t like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car.
I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in
They`ll find Bigfoot before they find a Smoothie store that`s been open for more than 2 years.
I wonder if Monday can see my middle finger from here?