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Smooth move.........ExLax
This salad is delicious, probably because it`s a donut.
Music that is meant to be played at a reasonable volume is completely pointless.
Why doesn’t McDonalds have an order taking microphone on both sides of the car, yet?
I don’t even know what I don’t know.
This is my first status of 2017. Yeah, I thought it would be better too.
Due To ObamaCare and the poor economy Holiday Cheer this year will be distributed in Shot Glasses...
Shot my first turkey today...scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome!
What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
It`s funny how as you get older you relate more to the villains in Disney than the Princesses.
Living with a child is like using a blender with no lid...
"LSD causes users to lose weight" Obviously. You can`t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge.
3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.
You haven’t truly won an argument until the other person says “whatever.”
Spoiler Alert: Ladies, if your guy friend gets you a teddy bear, it has a Camera in it.