Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Note To Self: Even if someone really needs it, strangling them is still illegal.
Don`t rush me. I`m waiting for the last minute.
Maybe Voldemort`s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
Ninja Mode is not a plausible excuse for not being seen at work.
How to fall down stairs: Step 1 Step 6 Step 7,8,9,11
Sign outside a Drug Rehab Centre: "Keep off the Grass!"
Maybelline claims to make eyelashes appear three times longer…..I think they should start making condoms.
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
Dont freeze your Common sense in the process of being COOL.
I`ve had enough of my neighbours blasting their music from their backyard. I`m not annoyed cause it`s so loud, i`m annoyed cause they`re Korean & they`ve still yet to play Gangnam Style!
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.
Pretty sure I know what my wife`s getting me for my birthday cause when I guessed, "A 3-way?" she got all angry like I ruined the surprise.
*driving behind a cop* Well, well, well. Looks like the tables have turned.