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Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
"It`s cold!", "Happy birthday!", "I`m so blessed", "Political rant!"... There, now you don`t have to go to Facebook today. You`re welcome.
What I learned in college 1.Water bottles are a great way to hide vodka. 2. When your thirsty in the morning you will regret #1.
If anyone has ever told you that you snore, just know that person has very carefully weighed the pros and cons of letting you live.
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain realizes what I`m doing.
So I met an Egyptian, they walk just like us.
Why is it called tourist season if we can`t shoot them?
If the plan is “drink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
The only reason I keep people`s phone numbers in my phone is to avoid their calls..
popsicle sticks: $1. caramel: $3. onion: $1. watching ur kid bite into a caramel onion thinking its an apple: priceless.
I won employee of the month!!!…. again! I love being self employed.
A company has announced a new service where you carpool with strangers. It`s a new cutting-edge technology called "taking the bus."
LSD makes users lose weight ... That makes sense. It`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.