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Sorry I`m late, the floor was lava
PRINCIPAL: are you the new english teacher? TEACHER: yes i are.
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
Sure, I can speak Spanish... "Margarita!"
I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
I think the only way I`ll ever be motivated to go to the gym is if I`m in prison.
I`m awkward when people compliment me. "Nice hair" "Thanks, I grew it myself"
WikiHow suggested 9 Ways to Celebrate Earth Day.... I did all by ?#? SLEEPING?the whole day! How???? I smoked less, used water/power less etc. Wikiwikiwiki!!!!!
It`s not often you see a pink poo in your bowl & realize that not everything is edible from the sex shop
A hot woman telling me about her boyfriend is like setting money on fire in front of a homeless person.
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
Someone offered me grapes, but I declined. I`m not used to consuming wine in pill form.
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-