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Women don`t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think.
When we are small, our mom`s would use really small forks as spoons to feed us...But what about Chinese moms? Would they use toothpicks?
Everyone has their area of expert knowledge.... if any of you need tips on how to do absolutely nothing amazingly well, let me know.
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
Forgot to make resolutions? Just write out everything you did New Years Eve and at the beginning add the word "stop."
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
went to see the conjuring, and now there`s 10 crosses, four bibles, and a poster of Chuck Norris in my room.
I just realized that the only time I`m good at dancing is when I`m about to pee my pants
Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on?
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
If I hug you longer than 3 seconds, Iām picking your pockets.
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don`t like.
Morning comes in 3 sizes: 1) Early. 2) Too early. 3) Way too early
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.