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You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
I don`t mind sharing the highway with other people. I just wish they`d use the part behind me.
Nice try, blocked number but I don`t even answer the phone for people I know.
Autocorrect is a great feature, but it can also be your worst enema.
Based on how I react when the toast pops out of the toaster, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
I spent 2 hours cleaning this kitchen. Mess it up and I will cut you! ... Love MOM
You said you wanted my advice, but I see you haven’t f*cked off or died yet.
For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it.
Sometimes I can`t figure out if I`m in pre-school... high school.. oh wait, I`m at work.
is it rude to throw a breath-mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
I fold down my laptop screen very slowly at night so I don`t squish you guys.
This healthy diet thing is dangerous. I just cut myself peeling an apple. This would have never happened to me with a twinkie.
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered a "Booby Prize" really wasn`t boobies at all...:(
Thanks for posting pics of what you had for dinner, the suspense was f*cking killing me.