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Women don`t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think.
If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
Dyslexics of the world.. UNTIE!
Drinking: because why not intensify the feelings you`re trying to escape?
I was having breakfast at a friend`s house and she said "How do you take your coffee?" I said "Very seriously."
The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn’t enough motivation to get off the couch.
Just got in 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick an ice cube up off the kitchen floor.
Studies show that if you begin a sentence with "studies show," the internet will believe you.
I spend so much time on the internet, that the priest pronounced us husband and wi-fi.
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
Happy St. Patrick`s Day! I was going to drink anyway!
I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying.
You mean to tell me people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
I`ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.