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Have you heard about the new movie called constipation? It hasn`t come out yet.
It`s Thanksgiving. Don`t forget to set your scale back 25 lbs
Did anyone hear the one about the cross dresser? The happiest day in his life was when he finally got into his girlfriend`s pants.
I need to re-home a dog. It’s a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If your interested, let me know and I’ll jump over my neighbors fence and get it for you.
I`m at the "what can I make with green beans and cake mix" stage of needing groceries
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
I just dusted and mopped the house like 3 months ago and it’s dirty again. This is bullsh!t.
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone’s ok with that.
The closest I`ve come to being an athlete is using Adobe Acrobat.
I`m a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
Just bought two donuts without sprinkles...Diets are hard!
Hey,,,, I said I`d be there in 10 minutes... Quit calling me every half hour.
Is Nudeism a religion?
How old do I have to be when I can start pulling in front of cars without looking?
I`m on my 5th coffee, just in case you`re wondering about the "other way" to get to Narnia .