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Note to self: It`s time to grow up, be responsible, and act like an adult. Self to Note: Shut the f*ck up.
I used to be able to stay out much later than this. I find I just can’t these days. My phone battery just doesn’t have the stamina any more.
SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
Apparently somebody gets stabbed every 52 seconds...sucks to be that guy
If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don`t f*cking deserve string cheese.
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
I like to take, long, romantic walks, to the fridge. <3
I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say `I would do anything for love`. On the back, `But I wont do that!`
If people in horror movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed, it ruled.
It`s not that I CAN`T be good, it`s that I`m SOOOOO much better at being BAD!!!
You`re always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.
FANNNN...DANNNNN....GOOOOO. Breathe The A`s.
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......
Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.