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Super Bowl Sunday, the one day of the year that DVR`s are used to watch commercials, instead of skip them!
If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
I think before we vote we should get the politicians drunk. That way they would speak what`s REALLY on their minds.
I know it’s “cool” to make fun of celebrities, but the Bieber jokes need to stop. That’s somebody’s daughter.
I`m sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
tried being normal. Didn`t like the feeling, so I`m going back to being ME.
Dear God, thank you for all the animals, and plants, and insects, but were spiders really necessary?
A gay man is just one colonoscopy away from foreplay
Someone tore off my warning label when I was born.
Hmmmmm,,,, Turns out all this time, I’ve been using a life couch instead of a life coach.
This lady in Walgreens is staring at me like she’s never seen anyone put on deodorant and then put it back on the shelf.
Crayons are a lot like M & M`s, all the colors taste the same.
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for longer than 6 months.
I wonder what the inventor of the drawing board said when his first design didn’t work out.