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I’ve found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock, people expect less of you.
If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years. Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer
Just put my money where my mouth is. Pennies taste disgusting.
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?
You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34C
Automatic doors make me feel like a Jedi
My business card is just a label I peeled off a beer bottle.
I can bench 250 lbs. And by that, I mean, I can sit myself down on a bench in a local park.
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth ... and drink all the vodka inside ... It seems to help
This woman just stared at the beer in my cup holder, like she`s never seen a cup holder on a grocery cart before.
To my neighbor using a chainsaw at 7:30 on a Sunday morning: Try holding the other end.