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My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
3 things I will never understand: 1. The meaning of life. 2. The universe. 3. How Spongebob & Patrick made those sounds effects in that box.
I just ended a long-term relationship today ... I’m ok though, it wasn’t mine.
I hate it when people come to MY house, knock on MY door then have the nerve to ask me why I`m not wearing pants.
When does hibernation start? Because I am 100% participating in that.
Halloween always exposes my weakness for Milk Duds, I am powerless. Tomorrow I will attend MDA, Milk Duds Anonymous
I was a huge tomboy. Like, I had barbies, but only because my ninja turtles needed bitches.
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don`t know how much I want. They don`t know my life. They don`t know what I`ve been through.
When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
Hello everyone. Look at your status, now back to mine, now back to yours, now back to mine. Sadly, yours isn’t mine. But if you stopped posting about other things and made this your status, yours could be like mine. Look down, back up. Where are you? You’re on Facebook, reading the status your status could be like.
How about a cooking show called "Cookin crap in the Microwave".
Nothing starts my day off quite like an inspirationsl status!...May your day go fast, your socks match and your underwear no ride up your a$$.
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.