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If Jehovah`s witnesses brought pizza and beer with them, I`d gladly let them in to spend an afternoon chatting about religion.
i honestly hate saying sorry but when i do i really mean it :-)
I`m glad it`s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
Laziness: the habit of resting before you get tired.
You know what makes sex awesome? Actually having it.
Thanks for calling me to tell me you just sent that email
Okay, If we get caught here’s the story…
I would probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook added a dislike button
Hey sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.
I trust Snapple facts more than CNN and Fox News.
Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
I like it when everyone posts on Facebook what they are cooking for diner...it makes my decision on who to drop in on so much easier.
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs at noon!
You would think a popular place like the Krusty Krab would have more than two employees.
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.