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“Swearing is unattractive” I’m not attractive anyway so f*ck off
No matter what the product, a good way to throw off an aggressive salesman is to interrupt him and ask, “Yes, but does it work on cats?”
If I were invisible I`d go beat up a street mime...the applause he would get would be incredible
My doctor said I`m healthy enough for sexual activity ... I`m just not attractive enough.
I put my phone on Airplane Mode and now I can`t find it...
How did people crash their vehicles before cellphones?
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
Raise your hand if you have already spent your daylight savings
I may not be a veterinarian, but I know a horses a$$ when I meet one.
Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days..
I spent yesterday painting some kickass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.