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Eggnog is perfect for when you feel like drinking a glass of pancake batter.
If there is no chocolate in heaven...I AM NOT GOING!
Look, all I`m saying is, you never see Nikki Manaj and E.T. in the same place at the same time.
When I hear a person say "My Mom didn`t raise no dummy", I feel like saying "She lied to you"
If you never set it, you always have the excuse, "I overslept because the alarm didn`t go off."
On a math test: 2+2 = ? Me: *Use calculator just in case
All I heard was, " I swear it`ll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It would be a lot easier to drink the recommended 64oz of water a day if it was beer.
Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your room. Those bastards live forever.
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, if that doesn`t accurately describe my life I don`t know what does
Two heads aren`t better than one if you`re both stupid.
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is completely acceptable
I Don`t Care If you Don`t Like Me .. Iam Not A Facebook Status :D