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Maybe Voldemort`s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
Hey! Did any of you see my........ Oh ! Never mind... :D How much of you said that before? heee heee hee!
Calm down ... Take a deep breath and hold it for about 30 minutes.
The rare times my cat approaches me for affection, I run away and hide under the bed so she knows what that feels like.
No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has to clean the bathroom at Taco Bell.
You know you`re non-domesticated when the only reason you finally transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher is so you can gain access to the garbage disposal.
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
I look so young for my rage.
Please don`t mistake my personality for flirting. Just because I`m awesome doesn`t mean I like you.
If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “real life” they would offer a class called “working with a$$holes”
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions
I need something that`s more than coffee but less than cocaine.
My doctor recommended I increase the amount of Greens in my diet...so I started drinking more Rolling Rock.
There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.
If you weren`t supposed to eat 15 Oreos in one sitting, they wouldn`t package them in rows of 15.