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In Store Special - "You`re My One and Only" Valentine`s Day cards... 4 for $5...
Never take a laxative and a sleeping aid on the same night. dont ask me why.
DO NOT LIKE THIS… Unless you’re a sexy beast.
No one is ever bored enough to start studying.
According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with "Go away."
I like to pee on car windows in subzero weather, happy scraping
Gun Control: Use both hands
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
I`m so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.
Siri, where are my pants?
Well h€ll, I was going to post a status about my p€cker, but it was too long.
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It`s not me, but I`m sure someone does...
3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying
Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is police.