Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If your problem can’t be solved by me saying “damn” and nodding a lot, then you shouldn’t come to me for help.
"we can still be friend" .. is like saying "The dog died, but we can still keep him"
If I was a mortician I`d tie the shoe laces of dead people together, so if there ever was a zombie apocalypse it would be hilarious.
I don`t smoke,i don`t drink,don`t do drugs. I only have one small problem, i lie.
Oops! I hate when I pour myself a drink and then have 12 more by accident.
Slut: desirable woman who has sex with someone other than yourself.
Sometimes you have got to talk to a 3year old toddler in order to understand the meaning of happiness in life.
I can buy my own sugar. What I need is an insurance daddy.
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
I found a spider in my shoe. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
Day six of my push-up challenge. So far, I`ve eaten 107 push-up pops.
Social media is great if you like socializing without wearing pants.
The only thing I ever win playing McDonald’s Monopoly is 10 pounds.
i used to like you but thanks to facebook i now know how boring u are
So far this is the oldest I`ve ever been.