Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There are 2 types of people that annoy me: Drunk people, when I`m sober. Sober people, when I`m drunk.
You know you are getting old when you see girls from TEEN category moved to MATURE & MILFS.
If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
You laugh because I´m different. I laugh cause I just farted!
figured out today that my GPS has auto-correct....I put in "Beach house" and ended up in my ex`s driveway.
Behind every beautiful woman, is a beautiful behind.
Scientists have recently discovered that approximately 2% of Earth`s water at any given time is found on Tupperware containers being removed from the dishwasher
Here’s a little bit of advice for you.. advi
There`s a bald spot in my yard so I`m gonna let the grass grow around it really long and then do a comb over.
Parts of my body are turning 50 Shades of Gray
This might be the worst online counseling site ever.
I can`t relate to people who "forget to eat"
I`ve spotted six Pokémon today but I don`t have the game so I may need new meds...
I don`t make enough money to go on vacation so I`m just going to get drunk this weekend until I don`t know where I am.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of it!