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You might be addicted to Facebook if you read my post`s every day...
Not to brag, but I don`t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a friend.
I want to start a womans magazine called "Period". ..then every few months I`ll send it out late JUST to freak them out. ;)
My new workout video is 20 minutes of me vacuuming over the same piece of string instead of picking it up.
Why are kids obese? Maybe because Burgers are $.99, & Salads are $4.99.
What is the difference between a Snow-man & a Snow-lady? Snowballs!
Sorry to burst your bubble, but your waiter doesn`t really think your choice was excellent.
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
Secretly replaced the bacon with beggin` strips. Let`s see if the customers notice.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart
If the zombie apocalypse happened in Vegas…would it “stay in Vegas”?
Some people you know was dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall and fell out the window.
I`m not getting married till Pizza Hut allows gift registry.
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?