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My next relationship will be with someone who thinks "Wine" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what`s for dinner.
When exactly are they going to make Xanax fit my Pez Dispenser?
Whenever I open my fridge, my dog looks at me with a puzzled look and he thinks, “why don’t you eat all the food?”
Boys are like roses, watch out for the pr!cks...
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
"What did you do today?" "I text messaged." :)
"I have no idea. Why don`t you just Google it?" —My answer to just about every question I`m ever asked
I hate it when people hate me without even giving me a chance to give them a good reason to.
This century is already 15% over.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
So Apple is gonna buy Beats by Dr. Dre... I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn`t apply to technology?
Being unsure has never stopped me from making a decision.
Honking your horn is fun but rolling down your window and screaming “honk” at people is just way more satisfying.
I test drove a car last month. Apparently, you`re not supposed to keep the car for a month. At least that what this cop is telling me.