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People should mute themselves on conference calls when they are crossing a battlefield and killing enemies to get to the next level.
The bed is always the comfiest right at the time you are supposed to be getting out of it
I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
Yeah, sex is awesome. But have you ever put clothes on straight out of the dryer?
Without facebook: more sleep, less drama, and a life!
Playing dead in the supermarket to avoid having a conversation with someone you know attracts more attention than I anticipated...go figure.
I may not be a veterinarian, but I know a horses a$$ when I meet one.
Still waiting for a criminal on Law and Order to say,,, "Hey,, Aren`t you Ice-T?"
Here’s a little bit of advice for you.. advi
Love your neighbor, but don`t get caught...
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
How many servings of fruit are in a fruit roll up? I`m trying to take my diet seriously now.
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up -- In 30 minutes? In 3 hours? In 9 years? No one can ever be sure.
Cheered myself up earlier by putting a "no U-turn" sign in a dead-end street.