Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
Ahhh another Monday at work...... I`m having as much fun as a colorblind person playing Twister!
The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
Old meaning of sorry. "I won`t do it again." New meaning of sorry. "Damn I got caught, next time I need to be more careful."
Just vacuumed for the first time in a really long time and apparently I have hardwood floors?
I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was "I bet a cupcake wouldn`t have done this to me."
I`m confused as to whether I`m supposed to leap or hump today.
Spoiler alert: I unplugged your fridge.
I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is βlove,β but itβs actually βfloorβ
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
Your trophy wife is more of a participation trophy wife, isn`t she?
If Iβve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, itβs that everyone speaks English after they die.
Just another day of not being rich and famous.
I rather read the software license agreement for my computer than some peoples Facebook status drama on my newfeeds