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(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
Just remember the only thing standing between you and your dreams is your talent
As an adult, I use nunchucks way less than I expected.
They say a woman’s work is never done. Maybe that’s why they get paid less.
If you watch Intervention backwards, it`s about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion.
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
I can`t wait to procrastinate.
stupidity is a privelege entitled to everyone but you my dear are abusing this right
Doctor said only clear liquids before surgery. Vodka qualifies right?
My mom just walked in and called me gay... If my nails weren`t drying i swear to God..
It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced “Haha, f*ck you!”.
If you`re feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.
I’m not a “stalker”. I want to make sure you’re okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
Don’t judge me because I only have $4 in my pocket. Judge me because I stole it off my daughter’s night stand.