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Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they`re and there.
I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
Ever notice how the automatic flush sensors in public restrooms kinda look like hidden cameras?
some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
is spending my children´s inheritance.
A lie is just a great story that someone ruined by telling the truth.
If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on.
If I’ve learned anything from Game of Thrones it’s that I need a wolf.
When my kid grows up they`re not aloud to date until they`re married.
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.
When I was a kid...no wait, I still do that.
Can I get likes for no reason?
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
Its Friday ... my body is in for a much-needed drinking session