Daily Silly Status

If you think you aren`t creative, buy a gym membership and see how many excuses you find not to use it.

If you don`t know where you are going, any road will get you there.

I wasn`t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

When I arrive at work, how long can I spend screaming in my car before it becomes weird?

I`m starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.

I just saw a 2 or 3yr old boy wearing a t-shirt that says, "if mom or dad wont buy it I`ll just sms grandma and grandpa"

I`m a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I`m your man.

Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can`t help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.

I don`t know why it`s necessary to get a glass dirty, when wine tastes perfectly fine straight out of the bottle.

An important phone call is something that occurs when there`s no better excuse to ignore someone.

Doormats are a gateway rug.

There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.

I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..

*Opens box of cereal* We’ve updated our Privacy Policy

I need to tell you something. I know it is going to break your heart and maybe you will not talk to me after the bad news. But I want you to hear it from me first instead of hearing it from someone else. This is going to make you cry I know. I first thought I must just keep quiet about it but I know it will not be fair on you. I am so ashamed to have to do this but you need to know the truth. Don`t be mad at me please. I will understand if you never want to hear from me ever again but it m