Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality
Go through a fast food drive thru. When they repeat your order back to you, say "And can I get that to go?" and enjoy the confused silence.
Half the lies they tell about me aren`t true
On your deathbed tell everyone "pray for me" then make sure to leave a note to be opened after you die that says "pray harder next time."
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I`m part of the other 3%.
There’s nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change.
Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you.
I`m awesome...just ask me...!!!!
Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution…
A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them.
It’d be hilarious to release a gorilla in a gorilla suit at the mall and see the look on security’s face when they pull off the mask.
I was halfway through a recipe when I read the instruction "Now chill in fridge for at least two hours". I only managed 30 minutes. I was freezing.
You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan.
I`m "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
I doubt my inferiority complex is as good as everyone else`s