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I put the o in illiterate!
Those kids in the Trix commercials were real jerks. Why couldn’t they just share their cereal with the rabbit?
I`m constantly bombarded with requests to check out `Candy Crush`… well I`ve spent hours searching the porn networks… I can`t bloody find her!
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
I saw a Facebook ad for burial plots and I thought, that`s the last thing I need.
Sometimes I let the words in my mind come out of my mouth. And it feels awesome! B)
It was so cold today the local flasher was caught "describing" himself to women.
My sister borrowed my favorite shirt without asking again, so I changed her Facebook profile picture to a positive Clearblue pregnancy test.
Sarcasm is a dominant gene in my family.
99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I’m part of the other 2%
As a Harry Potter fan, I wanted to go to Hogwarts. As a Hunger Games fan, not so much...
Whoever said “There is nothing as precious as a child’s laughter” obviously never fell down a flight of stairs in front of his kids.
LOSE WEIGHT FAST! Mix equal parts warm water, apple cider vinegar, & lemon juice toss that disgusting sh!t into a sink & get on a treadmill.
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page
Forget Klondike, you should see what I`d do for an open bar.