Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Financial status: I hope United Airlines drags me off my flight
A baby`s laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear, Unless it`s 3am. And you don`t have a baby, And you`re home alone.
I`m an outdoorsy kind of guy, I like to drink beer outdoors
I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems.
Please do not read this.
So much for the saying, 3rd times a charm, I just checked my Mega Millions ticket for the 3rd time, and still nothing.
Never fight anyone who bows to you first.
Capitalization can really change a sentence. Example: I love to eat candy ... I love to eat capitalization.
Vegans think they will live longer than us, but they don`t realize they are 100 times more likely to be murdered mid conversation.
My kitchen is actually nothing more than a fruit hospice
Secretly replaced the bacon with beggin` strips. Let`s see if the customers notice.
The only difference between Black Friday and a zombie apocalypse is that zombies don`t care if you get the last iPad Mini.
The cop said it was an outstanding warrant, dad! And you said I`d never amount to anything...
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me...
This isn`t a bakery. We don`t sugarcoat sh!t