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Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
Whenever I check my weight, I always subtract 5 pounds. I don`t think that boobs and brains this fabulous should count against me.
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
Dad: Son its a fact that masturbation can lead to blindness. Me: Dad... Im over here ..
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
Health tip: There`s never a `safe` time to shake a teenage boy`s hand. Never.
A “buttload” of underwear would be exactly one pair.
liked homework better when it was called coloring.
I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. “My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl.”
My doctor said I’m healthy enough for sex, just not attractive enough.
I’m at the age where all my posts start with the phrase “I’m at the age where.”
Admit it, we’ve all hidden our favorite food from the rest of our family.
You`re more inbred than sandwhich filler.
Note to Self: These Note to Selves don’t work.