Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that.”
Deja poo. The feeling that you`ve heard this sh!t before.
If my body was a car, I`d trade it in for a newer model. Cause everytime I cough or sneeze, my radiator leeks and my exhaust backfires.
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there`s no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
Why do we offer "a word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones that need the advice?
If a woman is talking to me about her problems, I better be the cause of them.
Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.
"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos.
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
If women kept their feelings to themselves would they explode? Guess we`ll never know.
I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. I’m feeling pretty awesome!!
Whoever made up the saying "It`s the thought that counts" never got a pair of crocs for Christmas.
Admit it: you have all tried to rap in the shower..