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More food should come with prizes inside it.
Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
Instructions for having an adventure: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you`re the valet. 3. Say yes.
Yesterday was international ninja day and I didn`t even know. Well played ninja day, well played.
Sometimes I think I`m a relatively smart person. Other times I put my shoes on before my pants and realize who I really am.
Oh, you have a brand new boyfriend? Please tell me more about how you think he`s `the one`.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
I laugh in the face of normal.
Thanks to my mom, I put my name on all of my underwear so they`re easier to spot when I go through the bar`s lost and found box.
Talking to me this morning is like trying to dribble a ball with not enough air in it.
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.
No. My hair magically got shorter.
I would like to publicly apologize to anyone I have NOT offended…I will get to you shortly.