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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I cant remember the last time i forgot something
It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
My son and his friends are great ... They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home.
Is everything expensive or am I just poor?
When are we gonna admit that those tools we keep by the fireplace are just for killing people?
My dream job is a pharmacy cashier & yelling for a price check every time someone checks out anal ointment, condoms, & men buying maxi pads.
You know your a$s is ugly when you`re the one always asked to take the photo.
Paused Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a Snickers. This is why I can`t watch Breaking Bad.
My right thumb is in the best shape of my life.
I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
Walmart needs observation decks.
That horrible moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching…
Okay I`m going to workout. Should I post about it now or after I`m done?
facebook is the only book we read everyday.
Showed the kids here how to eat corn-on-the-cob typewriter style........ Now explaining typewriter.