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You know you are getting old when you see girls from TEEN category moved to MATURE & MILFS.
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
Plumbers should keep busy this week now that No Shave November is over..
Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there`s no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
Jogging backwards because I`m trying to gain a little weight
They told me to never give up. Now they call me a stalker.
A small child called 911 upon seeing a zebra because he thought a horse escaped from jail
I like to gaze up at the stars at night and think about how somewhere there is intelligent life that hates doing laundry as much as I do.
I`m so lonely that my cat owns a cat.
It`s been an exhausting day of pretending I`m a pleasant person.
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name "fire place"
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?
What kind of downward spiral would cause a person to "like" cream cheese on Facebook?
I’m glad to know that we will never have to worry about a lack of weathermen. I mean, I know at least a couple dozen on Facebook.