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What´s the difference between light and hard? You can go to bed with a light on.
lol I rotfl
If you like to listen to music while having sex, listen to a live album. That way you will get an applause every 3-4 minutes.
People are so weird. You reach under the bathroom stall to tie their shoes and they freak out instead of saying thanks.
If we could master the look dogs have when we’re eating in front of them, we’d be able to have sex with any woman at will.
After midnight, clowns aren`t funny.
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
Time travel means never having to say you`re sorry...
auto-correct has got to be my worst enema.
If I drove a UPS truck there’s a 100% chance I would fall out of the truck when I turned corners.
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my mind and my temper
You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.
Life is hard ... It`s harder if you`re stupid.
I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I`m afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.
I find myself highly addicted to books as of late. Once I start coloring the first few pages I can`t stop....