Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My head says “go to the gym” but my heart says, “stay on the internet forever and eat!”
E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight.
with great power...comes great electric bill...
Ever get the feeling someone is watching you when you sleep? Yeah, sorry about that.
Drinking: because why not intensify the feelings you`re trying to escape?
I was shocked when I heard the local Radio Shack is closing. Mostly because I had no idea we had one.
There are people in life you could NEVER get tired of hitting with a shovel!!!
There is no evidence that exists that life should be taken seriously.
That moment when you wake up at 2 o`clock a.m and remember how crappy that after earth movie was and you go back to sleep immediately
Can someone make a voodoo doll of me and send it off to the gym?
If you have no internet history you silently admit wrong doing.
The best thing about smartphones is that you don`t have to refold maps anymore.
The best way to change a woman`s mind is to agree with her.
You don`t need to use your words if you`re carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.
Shouting "Not it!" should still make us exempt from doing anything that we don`t feel like doing.