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In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
Instead of cleaning my house I just watch an episode of hoarders and think " Wow my house looks great"
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
“Until death do us part” means we’re all single in heaven, right?
My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
I tried jogging this morning, but the alcohol kept spilling out of my glass, f&ck that.
Took the ice from my ice bucket challenge and put it in my whisky.
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts.
Happy 4th of July ! ... It`s a holiday. You know what that means... Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.
"in other news… it turns out being mayor of Toronto is all that its cracked up to be" - George T. Ignace
SEX! Now that I got your attention. I just wanted to say, "Have a great weekend!"
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to D!ck, Especially since his name is Steve.