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It’s silly how we spend money on clothes when naked is free.
I really would love to see two mimes arguing.
Trail mix is just a reminder of how much better it would`ve been if I just ate a bag of M&M`s!
I feel like being that guy that gets upset when people use the term "straight A`s". "Fabulously flawless A`s" sounds much better.
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
Alcohol goes in ... Happiness comes out.
I love you more each day as my other options diminish.
Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn.
Boobs are like friends. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake. And some are just so fantastic you want everyone to meet them.
loves poetry, long walks and poking dead things with a stick.
What does envelope 1 of 3 on my credit card bill mean?
Okay, If we get caught here’s the story…
EVERY Friday is good in my book!
never tell a lie...unless it is true
The girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.. so I went out and got drunk.