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If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
Turning your signal light on once you`ve already changed lanes is just about as useful as offering to help the old lady across the street AFTER she`s already been hit by a school bus full of screaming children. Just sayin`
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
I did absolutely nothing today and did it well!!!
My nickname is Gilette because I`m the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
I burn bridges to keep those crazy bastards from following me.
If “dress for the job you want” were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.
Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Take a moment and make that sh!t perfect.
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
I`m absolutely nailing this "I give a sh!t" face today!
I woke up praying McDonald`s would still be serving breakfast but I just missed it by 6 hours.
If i had a dollar for everytime i was thinking about you, i would start thinking about you.
I don’t care if it’s 1 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
It`s time to admit that as a species, we are just not ready for 4-way stops