Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe…call in sick tomorrow.
I just want someone who will love me for the a$$hole that I am ;)
It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
Racism, sexism and homophobia make no sense when there are so many perfectly good stupid people to hate.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from.
I should probably eat this entire bag of Oreos tonight since they`re going to expire in 2017.
If you spotted a white guy with headphones throwing gang signs on the subway today, that was just me listening to the soundtrack of Frozen.
Getting stuff out of my refrigerator is like playing Jenga.
If the plan is “drink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
Beware of the deodorants with instructions that ask you to "remove the top and push up bottom"... they could at least make them round.
I dont mind going to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is bullsh*t
I love how television has redefined the word `marathon` to the exact opposite of physical exercise
I`d totally order a salad bar. If it had lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ketchup, mustard, hamburger and buns.
You ever want to just grab someone and say, WTF is wrong with you?
I may be too old to cut the mustard, but I can still cut the cheese.