Daily Silly Status

If you look in the mirror and say "Taylor Swift" three times, she magically appears then breaks up with you. What do u know next? You`re a song!

I hate crickets in my house.....except for the one I just killed. He seems ok.

How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to

I need an app that shows oncoming traffic on my touchscreen while I`m driving

Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.

Some people should be ticketed for wearing spandex

There’s a good reason I’m up this late: because I have to wake up really early.

Sometimes, talking to a woman requires a translator.

Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they`re singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.

People who say watching golf on TV is boring have obviously never listened to golf on the radio

There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."

If you can´t read this, you´re illiterate.

If you have to use a shot glass to make your drinks then you`re not doing it right...

I`m no expert, but I would guess the internet really affected encyclopedia sales.

You`d think the self checkout lanes would have more mirrors.