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I’d like to think I’ve taught Citibank a valuable lesson about handing out credit cards all willy-nilly.
If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I`d be screwed.
Don`t you just hate it when people say stuff in thier status that you really didn`t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop. Talk to ya later.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
Got interrupted downloading the new version of iTunes by a pop up that asked if I wanted to download the even newer version of iTunes.
Thou shall not promote Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
I`ve been single so long now I don`t remember what it`s like for someone to be mad at me for something I didn`t even know it did!
Why is the guy who serves you at the restaurant called a waiter, when it is you that is waiting?
"Dora" only rhymes with "Explorer" if you`re from Long Island, New York
Seems like you must have been pretty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s
I add "Drink Beer" to my weekend to-do list so I know I`ll at least get one thing done.
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.
I spent the first 20 minutes of 2014 looking for the remote.
For once I would like to see a horoscope that says, "You`re totally f*cked this month"