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You millennials and your obsession with public healthcare. Back in my day we just died
There`s a certain age where you can no longer use the term "Good girl gone bad". It`s more like "Her old a$$ should know better"
For all of you who gossip about me: Thanks for making me the center of your world.
Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside.
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
likes to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I`ll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out.
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
I hear voices ... and they don`t like you.
I would have a girlfriend but finding someone who likes to be ignored is hard.
snooze button, becuase all I need after 8 hours of sleep, is a nap
If you keep bending your iPhone 6 you`ll eventually have a sweet flip phone.
I don’t call it laying down anymore, I call it landscape mode.
OMG guys!! im so happy!! the doctors just gave me a jacket so im always hugging myself!!
I hate waiting until I`m dead. I want to haunt people now dammit.
Sometimes I just bang my head on the keyboard and hope words form.