Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The only "B" word you should call a woman is "beautiful"... B!tches love being called beautiful.
I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine`s day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.
Trying to figure out why I joined the gym when I have Photoshop.
If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
I scream, You scream, We all scream, Because grandpa forgot his hearing aids again.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a prescription bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness."
If no one comes from the future to stop you, than how bad of a decision can it really be.
You don’t realize how many people you hate until you have to name a baby or a dog...
Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it`s important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair
I know karate, jujitsu, judo, taekwondo and 28 other dangerous words. Still wanna` mess with me?
It`s amazing what you can accomplish when you do stuff.
I don`t get women. Also, I don`t understand them.
I just saw a disclaimer that said "don`t try this at home", so I tried it at my neighbors house.
Spruce up your weeknight: run the dishwasher and imagine you`re on a cruise!
The wifes exhausted as she`s had some hot steamy action lately, But at least the ironing basket is empty