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Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn’t like.
I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
So far I’ve spent most of 2016 flipping off the weather channel.
They say when life gives you lemons….but what if life hands you a rather large banana? What then, my friend? What then?
I hate people that take drugs, specially U.S. Customs and the D.E.A.
"This is the ride that killed Jimmy." - me in line, loudly, at amusement parks
Can we all just agree to start spelling it "Wensday"?
Ways to tell a woman is mad at you: 1. She is silent. 2. She is yelling. 3. She acts different. 4. She acts the same. 5. She kills you.
You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast
I`m going to be the first person to land on the sun! I know what your thinking and thats why I will be going at night.
"They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears
I`m under the weather today, also so is everyone else, that`s how weather works.
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.