Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
Everyone wants you to "be honest" until you tell them how much they suck.
I once had the desire to do something worthwhile with my life. Then I discovered naps.
My wife keeps leaving magazines lying around with the jewelry ads circled. I got the hint. For Valentine`s Day she’s getting a magazine rack
I know the voices aren`t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
Please, please don`t be a bitch to me. Because then I`ll have to be a bitch back and I can do it better than you.
My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
Pro Tip: If you`re on the bus, and wearing headphones, people can still hear you fart.
life is short play naked
I wish I was important enough for my nudes to get leaked.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
If your cat has a Facebook page, we can`t be friends.
Family and Friends - I am FAR too busy to listen to any of your problems or concerns *Googles do penguins go to heaven?*