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“What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
To whom it may concern: I need more money and power ... ASAP thanks!
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
my Dr. says i have ADHD, i dont know how they see.... oooooh a squirrel!
Sorry just got your text. Do you still need to go to the hospital?
I`m so pissed right now! I`m about to open a can of... Wait…WTF??!! Since when did they start putting child-proof lids on the cans of whoop-ass? A little help please...
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, “I’m not crazy!” and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
I hate taking down Christmas decorations just to put up Halloween decorations...
since when was it cool to have an iPhone at the age of 10.. i sincerely hope those parents know what they`ve done.
The best nights are those when it never crosses your mind to update your Facebook status.
I`m never free but I`m available.
homework wont kill me, but why take the risk!
It`s always so awkward ending phone calls with loved ones, I always say "I love you" and they`re like, "thank you for choosing domino`s"
You think you love your family but suddenly there`s three of you and one remaining slice of pizza.
Girls these days be like `I wanna get the Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet`N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice tan look`