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Sadly, the opposite sex is ignoring me like a check engine light.
I hate when I get to work and I`m at work.
I found $40 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy dart guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, dart guns and candy".
What’s the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they’re not going to joust?
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
But what if bygones want to be something else? ;)
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024....
i hate it when other people hate the person i hate!!!
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
Spoiler alert: Your `97 Nissan Sentra doesn`t need one.
never tell a lie...unless it is true
Since my ear surgery I haven`t heard from my doctor. Not sure if that`s a good thing or not.
According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid...
I try not to limit my madness to March.