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Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
Did anyone hear the one about the cross dresser? The happiest day in his life was when he finally got into his girlfriend`s pants.
When I was little we didn`t have emojis. We had to put smiley face stickers on handwritten letters like a bunch of savages.
People say, “You have to work on a marriage.” I say, “No thank you. I already have a job
If your man is reluctant to talk about his feelings, it’s probably because you haven’t told him what they are yet.
Mario Bros. Plumbing ????? (69 Reviews) Hired them to clear my drain, stomped my turtle to death and ran off with my girlfriend.
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
I`m in big trouble if my coworkers find out I don`t really have Tourette`s.
Apparently members of the Westboro Baptist Church were outside a theater when the marquee gave way and came crashing down injuring several of them amidst their protest. Witnesses overhead many of the members muttering to themselves, "It must be a sign."
Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever.
Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
I`m perfect you adjust.
If I laugh randomly when you are talking to me, don`t worry, the voices are telling me jokes.
I`m Dave, or as the ladies like to call me... "Hey, you! Behind the bushes!"
I think my phone has a Miley virus,It stopped twerking