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New day, same old bullsh!t
Love putting on underwear fresh out of the dryer. They`er so warm and cozy, and it`s fun to scan the laundromat and guess whose they are.
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "there´s one."
Just think about all the stuff you aren`t thinking about.
When I was a kid and was going to "get it" that was bad. Now I`m an adult and I`m going to "get it" :)
No PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on Facebook.
I`m selling my browser history on eBay before the government does.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
A colon is used to indicate a list of elements to the sentence preceding it. A semicolon is for making winky faces.
Amnesia sounds so relaxing.
I read in a book somewhere that we only use 12% of our brains....I wonder what the other half is for?
I don´t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
My box of Animal Crackers said, "WARNING: Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken." I open the box, and sure enough...
Fun thing to do #48: Spice up your food delivery order by ending the call with "And NO cops!"
Sorry I said "nice phone" when you showed me a photo of your baby.